As we grow and grow, our body changes and we notice it. Or people around us notice it. Then we begin to compare our bodies. We see in the media the portrayed image of a perfect body and then it hits us how different we look from everyone else. And soon enough, we start hating the little things about our body. We start developing insecurities and we start hating our body for the way it looks.
We always want what we can’t have. It’s funny, because I’ve been there. As I went through puberty I’d notice the change with my body. I used to be okay with it, until I noticed how my friends would get taller, have wider hips and bigger breasts. It began to hurt my self-esteem. I was the total opposite : small breasts, very tiny and very skinny. Then came the worst : acne. I can’t stress enough how much acne played with my self-esteem. My confidence completely said its farewell when I began breaking out every week. My pimples were out of control, they were everywhere on my face and I began to just hate my face. I wouldn’t leave the house without applying eyeliner and mascara, thinking that would make me look more decent. I was so so insecure of my face that when a new pimple would show, I would hide my face while talking when I’d attend school. Acne completely destroyed me and made me feel ugly everyday during most of my teenage years.
Then came grade 10. I told myself I would stop using all these products on my face and just give it a break. I’d wash my face morning and night and stopped eating dairy for awhile. After a few months, my face began to clear. And the more I grew, the more my acne would slowly settle down and my face would clear up. I was so happy with the change. I stopped wearing eyeliner and mascara and for 2 years now, I’ve been going out in the public with no makeup on. I felt so comfortable in my skin. I began to really love myself. I began to understand that acne was a common phase and that it cannot stop me from feeling beautiful.
Nowadays though, my face is clearer than ever and I just really appreciate myself. Of course from time to time, I get a pimple here or there, but it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to. I’m lucky to have overcome that horrifying phase and now I feel good in my body. I am comfortable in my skin, even though I don’t have the hips I want, nor the breast I wish I had. I’m comfortable with my height even though I get teased about it a lot. It just means I’ll look younger when I reach my 40s.
It took me awhile to love myself and I’m still on that journey, but I’m slowly getting there. It wasn’t easy at first to accept myself, but here I am. Fully confident of my body and proud of my features. Sometimes when I’m out in public, strangers come up to me and tell me how beautiful I am. At first I get embarrassed, but then I learn to take the compliment and smile. “ You are beautiful.” or “ You have a gorgeous smile” is what I get the most. And the more I hear it, the more I believe in it.
To love yourself is not an act of selfishness. To love yourself is important. Accepting who you are will reflect on you and your environment. It might take you 2 years or even 20 years to truly do so, but as long as you start now, you’ll slowly get there. Some days might get difficult, others will flow as smooth as honey. But remember that you owe yourself the love that you give for free to other people.
Madgi Thaim – Medical Administration & Patient Care Coordinator